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We experience two possibilities in every moment. We can focus all of our attention, curiosity and passion focused on what is happening. Or we can have that same curiosity, attention, and passion focused on what is not happening, or what we think should or be happening. When we focus is on what is, our experience naturally opens up and becomes fuller, richer, and more complete. But when we focus on what is not (like the past, the future, or any idea about what would be better), our experience of what is happening narrows and contracts. In addition, inherent in a focus on what is not is a struggle with what is. We discover that much of the time we are oriented toward what is not and in opposition to what is. Life can be mostly about how to make our experience better and have more pleasure, and how to avoid the things that are painful. We evaluate our experience to see what's wrong with this moment and how it could be improved. We ask ourselves what could be added to it to make it better. As a result, our attention becomes very narrow and our awareness very limited as we focus on our own thoughts about the moment instead of the moment itself. Once we see how much time we spend struggling with what is, the tendency is to go to battle with that-to try to fix that. We think the solution is to fix this tendency to try to change everything. But that only changes the content of our struggle: Now we are struggling with our tendency to try to change things. We suffer over the fact that we are suffering. What if you just notice how much you suffer, without trying to do anything about it? Just allow struggle with what is to be here. Just recognize that for now, that is what is happening. This tendency to struggle with what is, is what we were taught or conditioned to do; and this conditioning is here and is also a part of what is. Once we stop being in opposition to what is, it is possible to see how all of our struggling comes from the idea of a "me". Without the assumption that something is my experience, there wouldn't be much point in trying to change anything about the moment. Our effort and struggle to change what is only makes sense if there is a me. It is all in service to maintaining the idea of a me. In fact, the struggle is the me. When there is no struggle, there is no me. All of our suffering is how we have and maintain an identity. Once again, there is a tendency is to try to fix this by changing our beliefs about our identiy. We try to get rid of identification, which is another way of focusing on what is not. Yet, we are then still suffering because now we are struggling with our tendency to identify. Instead of accepting of what is, we are looking toward how it should be: I ought to know better; I should already know who I am. It is also possible to be really present to whatever is happening including our identifications, without making any effort to change things. If it is happening, then that's what happens. You can just let it be. You may even be amazed by it all, including the strange sense of a me. You can see how unreal this "me" ultimately is, but there is no need to struggle to get rid of it. There's no no need to assume that something's wrong that needs to be fixed. Just letting things be the way they are is the simplest way to end your suffering and be fully present in the here and now. When it is completely ok for things to be just the way they are,l including our identity, then naturally more of experience can be included in our awareness. If we just be present to and allow our identification and struggle, then it is also possible to notice something beyond all of that. We can call that Being. Along with awareness of identification and the struggle and suffering inherent in that, is an awareness of this larger ground of Being in which everything is happening. When we see that all the me is and ever has been is a lie, but we don't turn away from that awareness or judge ourselves for it or try to get rid of the me; then we start to notice that, along with the struggling inherent in the me, is a beautiful, rich presence of Being, which is allowing everything, including the experience of me. We come to see that the me's struggle is only a tiny percentage of our entire experience and that this struggle is happening in an ocean of allowing. This allowing is Being. Allowing everything in awareness brings u sin touch with what it is that is allowing, which is Being, and that is who we really are. This can be a startling realization or a very simple one because our Being is actually quite familiar. Every experience of allowing has actually been a moment where we experienced Being. Paradoxically, what brings us beyond the struggle and unlocks the bigger view is realizing how much we enjoy identifying. Once we allow things to be the way they are, it is possible to admit that identification has been a lot of fun. The illusion of a separate self is an incredible act of creation. It has created the whole drama of human existence. It has inspired many of the great works of art and literature. We love to identify, but that doesn't mean we also don't suffer from it. This creation and projecting of a false identity-a me-is not a mistake. It's natural, spontaneous, and inherent in human nature. It's one of the richest parts of our experience-and there is also the even richer possibility of no longer mistaking the me as the totality of who we are. Identification isn't a mistake, and yet there is much more to life-and to us-than that experience. The larger Being that we truly are is always here.
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Internationally known spiritual guide, Nirmala has been offering Satsang and individual Spiritual Mentoring since 1998. He offers free spiritual books and many more ways to experience his teaching on endless-satsang.com. Get your own completely unique content version of this article.
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